The Art Of Adaptive Dating Game

Posted on 2025-12-10

The conversation is going okay, but ten minutes in she still hasn't asked for your name. She keeps looking over your shoulder. What message are you sending her? How is she perceiving you? Does she see you as cool or uncool, interesting or boring, sexy or strange? Thumbs up or thumbs down?

Boring. She sees you as boring. Step back and tease her about her thick winter coat, like she's preparing for a Russian winter. Ask her if she's hiding a little midget in there.

If I suspect that a girl's perceptions of me are not helping me get to sex, I make changes to the conversation or my body language to fall more in line with what she wants. Lots of guys call this "calibration," where you adjust on a case-by-case basis based on the type of girl you're talking to based on the response you're getting. This doesn't mean putting prettier girls on a pedestal but changing your game depending on her personality or background. Understanding what connects you with different personalities requires more than surface charm.

Changing Your Game For Different Girls

Here are a few basic examples of what I change depending on the type of girl I'm talking to:

Black girls -- I use more cockiness and direct game

Hipster girls -- I stress my artistic side and anti-mainstream leanings

Young girls -- I use shorter sentences and smaller words, say "like" and "you know" more often, and qualify her relentlessly

Late 20s white girls -- I use more SAT words while showing more obscure wit and trivia knowledge

Foreign girls living in America -- stories that show I'm an international man of mystery

Asian girls -- I insinuate that I have a massive dong

For example, an anecdote I'd tell to a young black girl who's a senior at Howard University would not be said to a white girl who's a medical student at George Washington. You may think this is acting, but it's more about choosing which parts of you to highlight to your audience in order to build a stronger connection. Connecting with different people means learning how each person uniquely communicates.

Building A Diverse Skill Set Through Life Experience

The seventeen years I lived in a Maryland ghetto (White Oak), the six years I worked in corporate America, my DJ/bartending experiences, my time abroad, and my writing projects have all allowed me to put on different suits to interact with different girls. By having had varied experiences in my life, I can pick and choose the best way to develop a spark with a girl whose background possibly matches something I've done. This helps me date an American lawyer, a Colombian college student, an Icelandic engineer working on her masters, a Danish flight attendant, a quirky Polish pixie, and so on all within a short time frame. These girls have nothing in common with each other besides the fact that they have a vagina, yet I was able to connect with them strongly enough to get sex.

If you easily fit a stereotype, then you will only be able to bang a stereotype. If you're a die-hard prep, you'll only date preppy girls (which isn't entirely bad if you love preppy girls), but a Brazilian girl would seem foreign and even strange to you. With this idea we're getting into the big picture, where you're not just changing a minor aspect of your dating game to sleep with a girl, but adding a part to your being that gets you noticed by someone completely different. Female archetypes respond to different qualities you can develop.

Only by branching out and trying different things, while having friends from different socioeconomic groups and backgrounds, can you truly experience variety. While it's possible for you to bang an artist even though you're a corporate worker, it's much easier if you know something about her artist tribe, or have dabbled in art yourself. To relate to all sorts of women, you'll not only have to try all sorts of things in life, but achieve minor success, competency, or deep understanding with them. This may mean cutting back on the more wasteful uses of your time.

If you're not happy with the kind of women you're dating, you'll have to step out of your comfort zone and dive into something new. It's impossible to form a real connection with someone who shares nothing in common with you, and only by experiencing all that life has to offer can you experience all the types of women that exist.